The Severe
Beating of a Muse
I hate my life... I can't
finish anything worth a damn. Anything I come up with is utter poo.
Jheran pulls out what looks
like a Pikachu doll from her trench coat pocket. "This is all your
fault!"
Pikachu doesn't respond.
"That's it." Jheran
gets up from her computer, carries a stool from the mini-bar in the kitchen
easily to set it down in front of the computer. Jheran snaps her fingers and
points at the screen. "Go! Give me inspiration!"
Pikachu does nothing.
Jheran looks mad. "Give
me the writer's trance, where stuff gets done really, really fast! Y'know like
with the snippets!"
Pikachu does nothing.
Correction, Pikachu farts.
"C'mon!" Jheran
whines. "Help me out here!"
Pikachu...does nothing.
"THAT'S IT! I have my
period and I'm not afraid to use it!"
Jheran pulls out a
sledgehammer from her trench coat. Then, she leans in close to the Pokemon and
whispers threateningly in its ear. "Now, you're either gonna inspire me, or
I'm gonna shove THIS-" She gestures with the sledgehammer, "where the
sun don't shine."
Pikachu burps in a very cute,
Pokemonish way.
"THAT'S IT!" Jheran
screams, slamming the hammer down on Pikachu.
SQUEAKY! goes the Pokemon as
the hammer bounces off of its head and smashes into Jheran's.
"OW! You
sonnuva-BIIIIIIITCH!" Jheran curses some more and brings the hammer down
many many times.
SQUEAKY! SQUEAKY! SQUEAKY!
The dust clears and Jheran
stands behind the stool, panting heavily and leaning on the handle of the
hammer. Pikachu looks a little dirty, but is relatively unharmed.
Pikachu farts.
"DIE!" Jheran and
Pikachu go at it, and then pitiful little screams are heard. Kris, Robyn, Lethe,
and Mara look in concern out of the computer screen. Raini looks very worried.
SQUEAKY! SQUEAKY! SQUEAKY!
SQUEAKY!
Jheran plunks herself down in
her director's chair, dirty and nonplussed.
"Are you okay?"
Raini asks.
"No."
"How did you get
dirty?" Kris asks.
"Apparently, my muse
farts lightning," Jheran crosses her arms and snaps off
sarcastically. "Little pissant."
"Watch your mouth,
Frofro." Robyn shakes her finger at Jheran. Jheran raspberries her.
"My muse is a complete
and utter poop."
"What happened to the
little Pikachu?" Kris prods. "I thought he was cute."
"Pixel and Kilo are
tearing it to pieces now." Jheran smirks. "Gotta love dogs. Now, if I
can find another muse..."
Jheran leaves to check under
a sofa cushion. "Muse? Muse? You there? Look, Pikachu did that to
himself...herself...whatever the hell it is!! The important thing is I'm
not to blame!"
Jheran burrows further in
search of a muse.